


Polemics

by kenaz



Category: Good Omens - Gaiman & Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-16
Updated: 2006-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-05 22:45:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenaz/pseuds/kenaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It began innocently enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Polemics

It began innocently enough.

Aziraphale might have flinched if he had stopped to think about how many things beginning 'innocently enough' actually ended 'badly.' But Aziraphale didn't flinch because he was pissed to the tits on 1997 Chateau Lafite which, only moments before, had been Tesco's Finest Medoc with a twist-off cap.

Conversations with Crowley often ended 'badly,' but one beginning with Crowley's assertion that anything worth doing in bed was created by his people was positively guaranteed to end '_very_ badly.'

Crowley, equally bladdered, was currently holding court over his glass. "…An' if we din't create it, we improved 'pon it. Brought it to new heightssss…er…depthssss. Don't tell me your people'd think up thisss."

Aziraphale yelped when Crowley slithered his tongue in his ear.

Shortly thereafter, theological debate over the origin of sexual practices was suspended in favor of practical demonstration.

"The Missionary Position is ours," Aziraphale threw out hopefully.

"You can keep that one," Crowley returned, and flipped him to his hands and knees.

* * *

Three days later, a cigarette materialized in Crowley's hand and lit itself. He ran his fingers through his hair which stood up all over at wonky angles.

Aziraphale rolled over, wincing, and plucked the cigarette from Crowley's lips for a long drag. He gave Crowley a rather pained look.

"Well, I think we can agree that Sodomy's definitely _yours_."

Crowley smiled demonically. "I'd say so, yeah. But I suppose your people can take credit for That Thing With The Fingers."

"What Thing With The Fingers?"

Crowley demonstrated.

It would be some time before they got around to deliberating the provenance of The Wet Spot.


End file.
